The day has here, the culmination of months of hard work and feverish anticipation, the day when your child’s examination results are revealed. As parents, we all envision that day as a joyful occasion in which our children are justly recognized for their achievements. But what if your child’s grades are worse than expected, or worse if one or more subjects are failed? There are proper methods for parents to respond to mediocre results or performances, just as there are appropriate replies your child must provide during an examination.
1. Don’t vent your frustrations or wrath on your child.
It’s reasonable for you to feel a range of negative feelings, from disappointment and rage to remorse and guilt, because your parents are just human. You may even believe that your feelings are legitimate. Did you put enough pressure on your child? Could they have responded better to your persuasion and encouragement? Was your planning strategy well-thought-out? However, at this moment, none of these issues are relevant. Giving voice to your anger or disappointment, or focusing on the past, will get you nowhere. Your child is likely to be upset and dissatisfied with himself or herself, and burdening him or her with the added weight of your feelings could harm their confidence and self-esteem in the long run. When it comes to terrible situations involving individuals close to them, children are more emotionally and psychologically susceptible than adults. As a result, you should avoid making comparisons between your child and his or her peers, relatives, or even siblings. No one likes being compared to others, therefore your child’s accomplishments and failures should always be assessed against his or her unique characteristics.
2. Instead of blaming, offer your support.
Your child, on the other hand, is in desperate need of your unconditional love and support right now. Sit down with your child and ask them how they feel, then assure them that no matter what happens, the love you have for them will remain constant. The significance of your relationship with your child extends far beyond figures on a page that will be quickly replaced by next term’s results. Encourage your youngster to get back up and try again if he or she falls. Let your youngster know that you noticed and appreciate their efforts if there have been small improvements compared to previous outcomes. However, you should avoid sugarcoating the results in order to avoid lulling your child into complacency. Always strive to create a balance between being too strict and being too lenient.
3. Figure out why your youngster stumbled and make necessary improvements.
It’s easier said than done to strike that balance. Several parents believe that a lack of effort or laziness is to blame, although an effort is simply one of many elements that influence academic performance. To determine if you are being too severe or too lenient, you must first determine the actual reason(s) for your child’s poor performance. This is a difficult exercise that is made simpler by involving others in the process. Of course, the most important person to include in your child. Your intuition about the situation may be true, but it’s preferable to wait until you hear directly from your child before making a decision. Was it a lack of interest or a struggle to cope with the amount of difficulty that caused his or her poor performance? Was he or she overconfident, or might your child have benefited from more thorough notes and materials? What you do next is highly dependent on the problem you’ve identified. Speaking with your child’s instructors can also assist to fill in the gaps, which is something we encourage at The SCC.
4. Have realistic expectations.
You should also not rule out the idea that your disappointment and rage are the results of misaligned expectations. For example, if your child has been suffering from English for a few years, expecting a miracle turnaround from a failing grade to an A after only three months of tutoring may be a bit unrealistic. If expectations remain in the absence of communication between parent and kid, they can have a more subtle long-term effect. For example, a youngster transitioning from Primary 6 to Secondary 1 may find it difficult to integrate into his or her new class while still feeling pushed to maintain his or her excellent grades from primary school. This is why, after checking in on how your child is doing at school, you should always set expectations. You can’t cater to what you don’t know, and this might lead to your child carrying the burden of unfair expectations.
5. Allow your youngster to take responsibility for his or her own outcomes.
Finally, the finest thing that comes out of the whole situation can be teaching your child how to accept responsibility for his or her own outcomes. You are teaching your child independence and how to bounce back from failure by helping him or her process their feelings and encouraging them to set their own objectives for the next term. This is something you should be far more proud of than your child’s grades!
Building a Stronger Foundation for the Future
When your child does not do well on a test, how you respond might be the difference between emotionally scarring them and giving them the tools and strength to achieve better in the future. We believe in a loving and constructive philosophy at The SCC that focuses on our students’ character and outlook rather than their academic grades.